is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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