took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
