Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
