What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
