Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
