its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
