Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
soo... how was my night?
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