dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
