Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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