we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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