They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
