some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
