Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
