I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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