Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
ok first of all what the fuck
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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