Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
