What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
