Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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