You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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