the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
