She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
