i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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