nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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