I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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