i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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