i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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