remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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