its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
