I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
