Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
