She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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