Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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