Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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