Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
