Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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