I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
