if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
