i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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