Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
