There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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