ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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