How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
