Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My bed smells like the plague
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
