...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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