Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Found your dick twin last night
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
