He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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