Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I supernannyed him into submission
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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