How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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