we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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