Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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