Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
