grandma shit on top of the toilet
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
