I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
