Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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